An evening out with friends

by Jennifer Dyer

I don't know about you, but it seems as if my husband and I rarely get out as a couple. Even more unusual is spending time with a large group of friends without the kids around. Yet last night we found ourselves on the way to a large dinner for my husband's department at work.

The hosts lived way out in the country. The charming home's landscaping and interior showcased the years of love and sweat poured into it by the large family that had occupied it for the last two decades. Pictures around the living room revealed a growing family that had expanded to include spouses and grandchildren. There were no smears of peanut butter on the walls and no scribbles of crayon on the floor. I also did not have to step over scattered toys or maneuver around piles of laundry. As we sat on the deck to eat a delicious dinner (cooked by someone besides myself!), I watched the sun set and took a deep breath. I felt so at peace. 

Our large group spent several hours socializing and enjoying a night free from the responsibility of parenting and the busy bedtime routine. On the drive home, I spent some time in reflection. In the early years of our marriage I'd enjoyed entertaining, but I never seem to have energy for it these days. And then it hit me. The couple that hosted our dinner is in a different season of life. They live in an empty nest and can spend time traveling, entertaining, and enjoying a clean home. Yet I wondered what our hostess would say if I asked her which she'd prefer. I'm guessing there are many days when she'd take the messy floors and hand-printed walls over the peace.

I went home with a new appreciation for my own season of life. I love spending time with my little ones, even though it does exhaust me. I started to dread the day when my eldest would leave for college as soon as she entered kindergarten. I want to enjoy each day and what it brings. I'll continue to enjoy my "hand-decorated" floor tiles and walls. I will be thankful for my piles of laundry that requires extra scoops of Oxy Clean. And I will hug my children all I can while they are near me. And someday when (or if) I have an empty nest, I'll invite some younger couples over to enjoy the peace.

This morning as I rushed downstairs to start breakfast for the girls, I was still thinking over our night out. When I stepped into the kitchen, I stopped short. I'd been so tired when I got home, I'd left a bag of garbage out and it was now shredded across the kitchen. I grabbed a bag and cleaned it up, reflecting that I hadn't seen a dog at our hosts' very clean house. Hmm ...

Comments

[Lorie]

I just found your blog and I resonate. Thanks for being open. After my 4th was born this year with special needs I feel like I am a walking zombie half the time. Wonder where the old me is and really wondering where I will be in the future. Read a lot and the one on depression hit home.
Hang in there. It's a journey and I cling to Jesus as that is all I know.

[Jennifer Dyer]

Thanks for your comments, Lorie. I just had one of "those" days and ate the chocolate I gave my husband for his birthday... Ugh.

[Elsa Fluss]

Jennifer, I'd like to talk with you about using this and/or others of your posts on the site I manage for MOPS International.